Create Your Own Reality

A few years ago I was trying to find a good book on dealing with stress. One day I was chatting with a friend at a coffee shop and noticed a book called The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle. I skimmed through it and felt that it was speaking to me for some reason.

Although it wasn’t written to directly help reduce stress, it made me realize that the majority of my problems were due to the way I interpreted what was happening. Instead of accepting what was happening, I was resisting it. It also made me realize that I had a ‘future focused’ mindset. In IT (or my previous engineering career) I had enough experience to know that the current project was going to go ‘off the rails’. This used to give me a lot of stress.

Another ‘a-ha’ moment was the idea of creating drama in our lives. Not only does something happen on a daily basis that appears to be negative, but then we re-live the moment over and over again in our minds. We also discuss it with others. What we are essentially doing, is trying to prove to ourselves and others that we are right and ‘they’ are wrong.

At the core of every problem is the ego. Whenever someone tells me about how horrible their workplace is, I try to find out how they are contributing to the problem. Most people can’t see their own contribution to the grief and tend to point the finger outwards.

On my last project I decided to focus on the work I had to get done, and avoid complaining about what the client was doing or not doing. In other words I avoid creating or exposing myself to ‘drama’.  I avoided all meetings and asked my project manager to contact me if anyone had a question or issue. I worked remotely from home during this time. It was amazingly peaceful and productive.

Related to this concept is the idea of ‘The Now’. If you think about it, everything happens now. When you relive the past or focus on the future you are doing it now. Most stress and other issues can be reduced or eliminated by being in the present moment. Sometimes future moments that are anticipated don’t actually happen!

When you’re freaking out about work, the commute, the low pay or whatever else is bothering you, be aware that reality is negotiable.